Yes, this is my confession, in little internet-residing digital pixels-bytes. I did, in fact, make up the word ingenuitized. I didn’t know a more appropriate word that would exactly convey my meaning in the specific type of sentence I was using with the wording and intent I had crafted around it.
So, in the best of Hungarian linguistic tradition, I made up the word I needed. I, too, checked a dictionary and decided that since my word didn’t reside in an already-compiled tome, I would just declare it into existence. Maybe you should write to Gwyn Paden (Grandma says she already has); I’d love to be infamous in gramatical circles IN ADDITION TO being infamous in conspiracy theory circles. If you’d like to gaze on my conspiratorial notoriety, click here.
Do I apologize? No, I don’t. I defend my decision as a legitimate act of linguistic development. I think of it in such terms because I did it consciously. Unlike my illustrious (but gramatically improverished) Commander-in-Chief, I chose to forge the yet-unknown waters of the tounge instead of splashing around in grammar’s kiddy pool. These dark and murky waters are still to be found as long as humanity retains its right to creative expression and development. Ours is the noble task of bringing to said waters the illumination of our language-which-is-to-come. Like a Ghost of Christmas Future gone good, this right and responsibility gives us a glimpse of the glorious destiny of our English language. So come with me, dear friends! Ingenuitize!
Do you agree? Disagree? Let me know in the comments below.
Peace out,
Andrew
P.S. – I’d love to get Gwyn’s take on this post. I would appreciate it if someone would forward it to her. I’ll post her reply.
To my dear son Andrew, I go on record as agreeeing with you. I say make them up, especially if they make sense. If they don’t make sense, I love it anyway. I have always loved made up words.. I’m with ya, dude!!!
Andrew: I am flabbergasterized !!!! Your ability to verbalerize tickles my fantisizeable being. You are at the top of my adorationizable list. Keep up the pedantisizing.
Love and Blessings
Grandma
That’s the spirit, Grandma!
– Andrew
I never said that I didn’t agree with making up words. I just thought it a little shady that you tried to pass it off as legitimate by pretending to insert a dictionary citation.
But I certainly lost that argument, judging from the public response.
Wow, and I was the one that really did my due diligence.
JRS
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As the “got to have everyone happy, even my two blogging sons,” mom that I am, I agree with both of you……… Jonathan, you are right, leading his public astray like that, hmmmm, do I feel a “deep throat” incident coming on? However, at least it didn’t take him a “Mark Felt quarter of a century” to come clean. Not great journalism to lead your public astray, Andrew. Maybe next time, you shouldn’t be mendacious in your writings. I certainly fell for it, I must say, with the actual dictionary pronounciations, etc. On the flip side however, I have it from some good sources, that is how language develops! So I say again, make it up if necessary, go for it!!! Your faithful readers certainly got the point. But no more prevaricating while blogging, or any other time for that matter, especially not while in uniform. And blog back and tell me your not in your uniform, but blogging in your patriotic USA flag boxers!!!! Don’t prevaricate in uniform or your underwear!!! Love, Mom
Correction: I meant “DON”T blog back and tell me……”
To all of you, Andrew, Jonathan and Lisa……I am sitting here with dictionary in hand flipping pages as fast as I can read all of your intellect and wisdom as it is displayed in your verbage as you all banter back and forth on the printed page. All of you “chill out” and write Americanese!!!! Haven’t had this much fun since the hogs ate my baby brother!!!!
Grandma
Shady? Aye, it may have been a bit shady. But At least I didn’t day, “According to the Encyplopedia Galactica….,” I just said that it was a real word. I may have left a little too much up to your interpretation, but I certainly didn’t prevaricate, either in my uniform or in my underwear. (I did bring those underwear with me, but they’re turning blue because I always wash them with my uniforms. I’ll have to get another pair.)
Jon, thanks for bringing light to my shadiness, and Mom, don’t forget to fully masticate when you eat.
Love you,
Andrew
Shady? Aye, it may have been a bit shady. But At least I didn’t day, “According to the Encyplopedia Galactica….,” I just said that it was a real word. I may have left a little too much up to your interpretation, but I certainly didn’t prevaricate, either in my uniform or in my underwear. (I did bring those underwear with me, but they’re turning blue because I always wash them with my uniforms. I’ll have to get another pair.)
Jon, thanks for bringing light to my shadiness, and Mom, don’t forget to fully masticate when you eat.
Love you,
Andrew
Shady? Aye, it may have been a bit shady. But At least I didn’t day, “According to the Encyplopedia Galactica….,” I just said that it was a real word. I may have left a little too much up to your interpretation, but I certainly didn’t prevaricate, either in my uniform or in my underwear. (I did bring those underwear with me, but they’re turning blue because I always wash them with my uniforms. I’ll have to get another pair.)
Jon, thanks for bringing light to my shadiness, and Mom, don’t forget to fully masticate when you eat.
Love you,
Andrew
Now THAT, my dear grandmother, wins the Grammartastic Award for Best Colloquialism Used On an At-Sea Grandson’s Blog. I do believe, fellow members of my nuclear (yes, that’s NOOCLEEUUR, not NOOCYUULUUR) family, that we’ve been trumped by our Matriarch. Idiomatic patois is, in my opinion, at the zenith of creative linguistic usage.
Hey, when do we get to hear the results of the picture voting?
JRS
Andrew and Jonathan: Now that we have established who is who and who is important, I thank you all for the lovely time I have had joining in on this overwhelmingly pedantic feast. I wasn’t brought in on a turnip truck, doncha know!!!!
Lovingly and with adoration and praise to both of you for your show of so much knowledge and wisdom. You are both jewels in my crown of matriarchism!!!!!
Grandma
Wow ! I think I’ve finally figured out how to hop onto this family communication vehicle….and must tell you, I’m being thoroughly entertained….keep up the good work.. ALL of you!
Hugs,
Gmanina
The greats – Shakespeare, Lewis Carrol, Mark Twain, and many others – never apologized for their creations in the world of idiomatic expressions. I would have thought Andrew had learned that in his junior year (high school) English class, along with the most important lesson – use language as you would play poker: Bluff whenever necessary, but never admit to your bluffs!
This brings to mind the game “Balderdash,” where players create bogus (a great word itself) definitions and then try and dissuade and persuade others as to the real meaning. Retreating or retracting does not win this game.
On the other hand, the wisdom of James Thurber warrants notice: “Precision of communication is important, more important than ever, in our era of hair-trigger balances, when a false or misunderstood word may create as much disaster as a sudden thoughtless act.”
Seems a bit weighty to me, so I prefer Oliver Wendall Holmes: “A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanging, it is the skin of a living thought and may vary greatly in color and content according to the circumstances and time in which it is used.”
I can personally attest to the many improvisations and extemporaneous commentaries delivered by Andrew during his 11th grade year in high school. (Jon, you and I never had the privilege of working together – alas, greatness can only be spread so far!) Andrew did, afterall, learn from a master! How else would I have been able to rise from the abyss of an English classroom at Tokay to now regale in my authority as its PRINCIPAL?!? One does not rise to such hallowed heights without being able to turn (or create!) a word or two! So, continue to create, explore and become a master of lexicology!
Tokay Tigers always!
PRINCIPAL Sandstrom
Boy, Andrew, we have not been able to connect to the internet for two days and look what I have missed!! I feel very out of touch. You even had your English teacher respond to your blog! I have just finished reading all the different comments and have enjoyed them all. I enjoyed reading your made-up words. Thanks for your creativeness.
Auntie Becky
Dear Andrew,
I had the pleasure of a chance meeting with Gwin Padden. Chance or divine, I’m not sure but I did have a face to face with her yesterday. I reviewed the grammar situation at a hand and being the forthright and unapologetic person that she is, she was abhorred at the thought of adding i-t-i-z-e-d to any word! She put her head in her hands, as though she was crying for a lost friend. She said adding that ending to a word was too “Wall Streetish,” too overused, too familiar. But on the idea of improvising and creating a word to fit the need, she was all for it, after all, that is how languages are born. I listened to her opinion and told her that I would blog it to you. The Grandiose Grammar Grand Dame Gwin has spoken. Hmmmm…… personally, I love the word “ingenuitze.” But then your my son, one of your biggest fans!!!! Make it up as you go!! Snow us, pull the proverbial wool over our eyes, just keep writing! Looking forward to the next edition! Love and prayers for your safety. Mommy Girl
P.S. Jon, she remembered the letter that you wrote to her regarding her Lodi News Sentinel column.
Mom:
I want to know where you had a “chance meeting” with Gwin Paden. That’s like bumping into the Dalai Lama at the Wal Mart. One must seek out her wisdom (or buy a copy of the Lodi News Sentinel), it doesn’t just fall in one’s lap. I am highly suspect of this tall tale of the Great Ms. Paden mixing with common slangsters, colloquialists, and defilers of the Queen’s English. You were awfully sketchy on the details of this “face to face.” What do we think, Andrew, is she to be believed?
JRS
Whatsamatta guys? You don’t think the Dalai Lama would shop at Wal Mart? I bet you wouldn’t acknowledge that Lodi is the new hot bed of terrorist activity in North America either.
Best wishes in your respective quests to take over the world.
Love you both,
Dad
To my dear children, I can’t believe that you would doubt your mother! Think about where I am employed and the confidentiality laws under which I must work. Now do you understand where I had a “face to face” with the Grand Dame of Grammar? But was it a chance meeting? I don’t think so…. I asked her if she could access the blog and post a response but she said her computer abilities went only as far as email. She gave me permission to give you her response. The grammar queen has spoken.
Andrew, we’re anxious to hear how you are improving our relations with Algeria. Can’t wait for you to “blogitize” the situation… I hope Gwin isn’t reading this……. Love, Mom
Boys, boys, boys, I can’t believe you doubt your mother!!! Of course she ran into Gwin Paden. Sure am enjoying this blog. Thanks for the knowledge, entertainment and shere enjoyment all of us are getting out of reading this blog.
Love, Auntie Becky
To My Darling Grandsons: I realize that all of the blog going on has taken place while I was out of town (Reno and Tahoe, living it up), but I must respond to the audacity of one you to question the honesty and discernment of your mother who was raised in a Protestant, Bible believing, Fundamental (whatever that means) home by parents of the utmost integrity whose sole goal in life was to raise, honest, moral, straight children. Your mother has spoken only truth. Her chance meeting with the Grande Dame of English was a divinely inspired incident. Guard you tongues and writings in the future. I had called her (GP) earlier in the day and left a message with her husband to ask her to call back, which she did not do.
Your beloved, prize winning, Grandmother who has been cherishing every moment of these delightful Blogs. Yours ’til the ocean wears rubber pants to keep its bottom dry.