This is a down-and-clean guide for those who may find themselves in a similar situation. I make no representations about the universality of the experience; it’s just what one guy’s going through with his woman.
- Stock up on Cheetos. I know the common cultural perception is that pickles are the order of the day, but this is definitively NOT the case. Cheetos rule. And have I mentioned macaroni and cheese? We buy it by the case.
- She smells like a hound dog. I don’t mean that in the sense of her olfactorial emanations, but the operation of her proboscis itself. She can smell things that no one else can. We’ll walk into a room together and she’ll pick up on a scent that won’t hit me for several more weeks.
- She’s assuming an altogether new shape. This is comfortable for neither of us. It affects her mainly in the belly and back and me mainly in the ears.
- We waste lots of money at Starbucks. She gets this awful drink that’s bitter, and asks that the baristas hold any possible sweetening or additions of good taste. And I’m not talking about coffee: she gets an unsweetened passionfruit tea. Blecht!
- Sleeping is a chore. Only the left side works, but that isn’t comfortable very often. Can you imagine not sleeping well for 9 months?! I can’t.
- Pregnancyweekly.com is our web destination of choice these days. They tell us not only what’s going on with the baby, but also what all the cool pregnant people are doing these days. According to pregnancyweekly.com, yoga is big these days. So is shopping, and they just happen to give us lots of links to places we can shop online. They also tell us that our baby is the size of a large pickle this week. Hm, not the first comparison I would have made, but it works.
- When else will you buy clothes that you won’t be able to wear for more than a few months?
- Lisa insists she’s losing brain cells. I say that’s a good way to start your parenting life. First the brain cells, then the hair.
I’m sure there will be more later, but we’ll all have to hang on for that! Until then, I have some Cheetos to buy.
She’ll lose brain cells and you’ll lose hair. I think its an okay trade. I hear ya on the sleeping… most nights I sleep in our bed till 2 or 3 AM and then can’t go back to sleep unless I’m on the nice squishy couch. The food issues are all about giving the pregnant lady what she wants, whatever random item it is. For me its cake and cookies. YUM!
18 Days and Counting!