Category: humor

A Call for the Return of the Status Symbol

Reading the title of this post, you may be tempted to wonder, “Has Andrew had a status symbol stolen from him, and is he asking for it back?” Well, fair reader, resist that temptation! Such a blog post would be entitled, ‘Help, someone’s stolen my [status symbol here] and I want it back!’ Rather, the purpose of this post is to bemoan the death of the status symbol in American society.

I was thinking about this the other day in the gym. I thought, “I wonder…..27….. which of the people around me…..28…….belongs to each of the…….29…..cars in the……..30……parking lot………whew!” As I caught my breath, I realized that there’s no way of telling. Realization further told me that it doesn’t matter much, that any of these people could have any of the cars I was surveying without much regard for their true financial position. That really blew my mind. Hypothetical person X has gone to the effort of putting herself deeply in debt to try to appear as if she has lots of money, when in fact the symbol she’s buying for that express purpose doesn’t say “ostentatious” to anyone. It just says, “eh…. my owner could be rich, or she could be poor. Sure, I’m an Escalade with spinners, but don’t let that fool you.”

What a sad state of affairs. When status drains from a status symbol, it’s not much of a symbol, either. And it’s not as if this has been taken from us: we sold it to the hucksters and the money-changers who said, “Nice things are your birthright in this society,” and, “It’s not fair that the Joneses can have it and you can’t.”

While I abhor the thought that society would become stratified into ‘have’ and ‘have not’ categories, the greater danger is that the loss of those categories leaves no room for aspiration, much less perspiration. When all good material things come to you by dint of your (supposed) deservedness, the concept of seeking in any dimension of life is lost.

What, then, shall we do? First, we must realize that the ability to have something doesn’t imply the obligation to acquire it. True power is ability with restraint. Next, we must be less impressed with posessions, both our own and those of other people. Being less impressed means that people from all strata between ‘have’ and ‘have not’ can sit equally at the table. Compassionate eyes see the man, no matter how the clothes may distract.

These concepts challenge me. I hope you allow them to challenge you, as well.

– Andrew

Truck Worship: Is It Wrong?

With all due apologies to Ray Troll, I created the montage below to honor my new truck. Isn’t she a beauty? If you click on the picture, it will come up slightly larger in a new window. This won’t work as a desktop background because of the dimensions, but I doubt you’ll want this on your desktop, anyway. If you want to buy a framed wall print of my truck, I can probably get one for you at a reasonable price. 🙂
Enjoy,
Andrew

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Google’s Calculator

Alright, Shinnfans, we all know Google’s a great search tool. But did you know that it also works as a calculator? All you have to do is enter your terms (6*9, for example) and it will calculate for you. It will even calculate the answer to life, the universe, and everything. Go ahead; try it. Go to google and search for “the answer to life, the universe, and everything“. It’ll spit out the right answer. I didn’t believe it until I tried it, either. Then go to the Wikipedia and find out why it does this. You’ll be fascinated.

Happy Googling,
Andrew

elgooG

Yes, those Shinnfans with IQ’s higher than 109 just realized that the title of this blogpost is, in fact, the word Google backward. There’s a very good (and very clever) reason for this. It’s a reason so brilliant that I only wish I could come up with something so wacky. You can read the article for yourself by clicking on the link in the title, and I hope you do. Such a parody is more evidence of the Google-soaked culture that I’m working hard to perpetuate. Incidentally, the Wikipedia article on elgooG elucidated an interesting side-benefit of the backward search engine: while Google was banned by China’s communist government, Chinese people started using elgooG and typing in their searches backward in their efforts to seek out information. “Parody assists parity,” said Andrew Shinn, founder of the fictitious Googlewatch Redux cultural commentary firm. Those Shinnfans with enormous amounts of discretionary time (such as those who are starting businesses or who are temporarily unemployed) will also get a kick out of Googlewhacking.

Enjoy,
Andrew